>
>>
>>
> Getting old in Florida
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
> Two elderly ladies are
>sitting on the front porch in Bonita Springs , doing nothing. One
>lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
>>
>>
> The other replies, 'Oh
> sure I do.'
>>
>>
> The first old lady asks,
>'What do you do about it?'
>>
>>
> The second old lady replies,
>'I suck a Lifesaver.'
>>
>>
> After a few moments,
>the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
>>
>>
> **********************************************************
>>
>>
> Three old ladies were
> sitting side by side in their retirement home in Ft. Lauderdale reminiscing.
>The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated
>with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for
>a penny.
>>
>>
> The second old lady nodded,
>adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated
>the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
>>
>>
> The third old lady remarked,
>'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking
>about.
>>
>>
> **********************************************************
>>
>>
> A little old lady was
> sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.
>A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a
>few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
>>
>>
> He replies, 'I lived
>here years ago.'
>>
>>
> 'So, where were you all
>these years?'
>>
>>
> 'In prison,' he says.
>>
>>
> 'Why did they put you
>in prison?'
>>
>>
> He looked at her, and
>very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
>>
>>
> 'Oh!' said the woman.
>'So you're single...?!'
>>
>>
> **********************************************************
>>
>>
> Two elderly people living
>in Ft. Myers , he was a widower and she a widow, had known each
>other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper
>in the big arena in the Clubhouse.
>>
>>
> The two were at the same
>table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring
>glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you
>marry me?'
>>
>>
> After about six seconds
>of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes.. Yes, I will!'
>>
>>
> The meal ended and, with
>a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places..
>Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'
>>
>>
> He couldn't remember.
>Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With
>trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
>>
>>
> First, he explained that
>he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely
>evening past.. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When
>I asked if you would marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'
>>
>>
> He was delighted to hear
>her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.'
>Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't
>remember who had asked me.'
>>
>>
> * * * * * * * * * * *
>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>>
>>
> A man was telling his
>neighbor in Miami , 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me
>four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
>>
>>
> 'Really,' answered the
> neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
>>
>>
> 'Twelve thirty.'
>>
>>
> * * * * * * * * * * *
>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>>
>>
> A little old man shuffled
>slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples , and pulled
>himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
>>
>>
> After catching his breath
>he ordered a banana split.
>>
>>
> The waitress asked kindly,
>'Crushed nuts?'
>>
>>
> 'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids.'
>>
>>
>>
>>
> Life is short!
>
>>
> Break the rules!
>
>>
> Forgive quickly!
>
>>
> Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably..
>
>>
> And never regret anything
>that made you smile
>>
>>
> The best things in life
>are free until the government finds out and taxes it.
| |
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.