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A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top quotes in corporate America :
 "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA )
 "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
( Lykes Lines Shipping)
 "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
 "This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
 "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
(Maybe one of the reasons for GM's current situation!)
Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
 My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
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Thanks Jim, some real keepers here. :-)
--
"Independence is my happiness, ... my country is the
world, and my religion is to do good." ~ Thomas Paine
- Thanks & Looking Forward - StumpySteve, M.D.
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