Pot-Luck-Humor - Adult Puns!

 

ADULT PUNS! . "It's my code," says a mailman named Drew, . "To unzip, then deliver a screw. .  If virgins, when nervous, .  Resist postal service, .  I explain that the male must get through." The 69 position is like driving in rush hour Because the ass hole is always in front of you! A kid from Northern Ireland had a speech impediment. When the teacher asked him who Ulster's greatest hero was, He replied, "Billy the Shit." The teacher got angry and ordered him to the headmaster's office for his use of profanity. Another child came to his defence, saying, "He has a speech impediment. He meant to say 'William the Turd'." I hate when I hear people say, 'Nice guys finish last.' Seems every nice guy I've slept with finished first and didn't last. Jon was looking for a little "action." He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know that she was darn near a nymphomaniac. After six times having sex, she was screaming for more. After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes. On the way out, he stopped into the men's room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't find his tool. After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally said, "Look, it's okay. She's not here!" The only thing better than the sleep of the just is The sleep of the just-after. John was in a bar looking very dejected. His friend, Steve, walked over and asked, "What's wrong?" "It's my mother-in-law," John replied, while shaking his head sadly. "I have a real problem with her." "Cheer up," Steve said. "Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law." "Yeah," John answered. "But I got mine pregnant." Learn from your parents mistakes - Use birth control. One day, little Tommy, bored out of his mind, went to his father for suggestions on what to do to pass the time. "I`ll tell you what," said the father, "take this dollar and run into town and get me a dollars worth of what`s what." Tommy grabbed the dollar, hopped on his bike and rode into town. Once there, he had to decide what store would have the what`s what. He stopped in front of the pharmacy and went in. He went to the pharmacist`s desk, held up the dollar and said, "I`d like a dollars worth of what`s what, please." The pharmacist knew immediately that the boy was on a wild goose chase and said, "If you go across the street, to the house with the red light on the front porch, they can get you some what`s what." Tommy ran across the street and knocked on the front door. A tall, stunning blonde, completely naked, opened the door. Her "bush" was right in little Tommy`s face. Pointing to it he said, "What`s that?" "What`s what?" the prostitute replied. Tommy then replied, "Good, I`ll take a dollars worth." Have you heard about the secretary who was making it with her boss when his wife walked in? She had to change her position.  Twelve-year-old Richard comes home from school. His mother asks him, "Did you learn anything today?" Richard says, "We learned all about sex education. Penises. Vaginas. You know, stuff." Although his mother was shocked, Richard calmed her down, "This is the new millennium. Its all part of higher education, so relax." Richard goes up to his room and after an hour or so, his mom calls him to dinner. When he doesn't respond, she goes upstairs only to find him jerking off. "Richard, when you're done with your homework, dinner is on the table." A professor was taking in the scene at a popular L. A. Nightspot when a mini-skirted Valley Girl sashayed over to him and said, "Like, I want you to totally screw my brains out." "Sorry," he replied, "I'm not into quickies.

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Make Yourself Heart Attack Proof - Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5215695644951404318

Chocolate, Cheese, Meat & Sugar - Physically Addictive Foods
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3214100593069532942

Foods That Kill & Foods That Heal by Dr. Michael Klaper
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Professor T. Colin Campbell PhD --
Animal protein (meat and dairy) causes cancer
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==> Earthlings (please watch this - tnx)
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"Independence is my happiness, ... my country is the
world, and my religion is to do good." ~ Thomas Paine

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