A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly
She collapses from a heart attack!
"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for minute,
Picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife raises
Her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they
Found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to
Help you.
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she
Asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's
Already agreed to let him play through."
%%%%%%%%%%%
A reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular,
Your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You
Really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"
Mickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."
%%%%%%
The priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest
Tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we
Pray, we keep our heads down."
%%%%%%%%%%
Police were called to an apartment and find a woman
Holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands
On her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know -- five, six, maybe seven times.....just
Put me down for a five."
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty
Swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found it and saw an opening
Between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood,
He took a
Mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead
And killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"
%%%%%%%%%%%
Ashley, the bride, was escorted down the aisle. When she
Reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at
His side.
She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is
It?"
* Thank You for emailing StumpySteve's MisfitsCafe.
This is an automated reply letting you know your email
was received and will be handled in the order it arrived.
http://StumpySteve.com or http://MisfitsCafe.com
"If you spend all of your time looking back at yesterday,
You are destined to trip over tomorrow." ~ Thomas Maher
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MisfitsCafe/join
"Life's Journey" is not to arrive at the group safely in
a well preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways,
totally worn out, shouting ... Holy Moly!! What a Ride!!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MisfitsCafe
(\__/)
(='.'=) Dear Dorothy, Hate Oz. Took the shoes.
(")_(") Find your own way home!!! xoxo Toto
http://StumpySteve.com/forums
http://MisfitsCafe.com/donate
Thanks & Looking Forward,
StumpySteve Wilson, MD
ohmy@misfitscafe.biz
*********************
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.