Dear Abby:
I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as
Carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia
And one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a
Transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and
Selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters,
Who are
Prostitutes in Jersey City.
I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life
Sentence Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother
Is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of
Sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who
Lives in the Bronx and is still a part time "working girl" in a
Brothel.
Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her
As the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested
In joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute
Themselves, it would get them off the street, and hopefully, the heroin
Habits.
All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancée and
Look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be
Totally honest with her.
So.... Should I tell her about my distant cousin who is Italian?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

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