My son asked me the other day, "Daddy, why were you and Mommy
wrestling in bed last night?"
I said, "Because Mommy likes to wrestle with Daddy. She thinks
she's good at it, but she always ends up getting pinned."
" I want to wrestle with Mommy too!" he announced.
"I'm sorry, son," I said. "You're not old enough and we're not in
Arkansas."
- - - - -
An astronomer went on an expedition to Africa to observe a
total eclipse of the sun. Unfortunately, cannibals captured
him the day before the eclipse was due. He hatched a plan out
of "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court:" he figured
he'd threaten to extinguish the sun unless he were released.
But of course the timing had to be just right.
So, in the few words of the cannibals' tongue that he knew,
he asked his guard what time they planned to kill him.
The guard answered, "Tradition has it that captives are killed
when the sun reaches the highest point in the sky so that they
may be cooked and ready to be served for the evening meal."
The astronomer thought, "Great," as the guard continued, "But
in your case we're going to wait until after the eclipse."
- - - - -
Limericks:
There was a young woman named Jeannie
Who sobbed to her date, "You're a meanie".
You claim you're a stud
But, oh, what a dud!
Your prick is a real teeny-weeny!"
_________________________
There was a young whore from Kilkenny,
Who charged two fucks for a penny.
For half of that sum,
You could bugger her bum,
An economy practiced by many.
- - - - -
A blonde on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said
to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they
come from?"
"The glaciers brought them down," said the guide.
"But where are the glaciers?"
"The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have
gone back for more rocks."
- - - - -
In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl.
The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to
the erotic.
Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I
will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all
pull a buck out of their wallet.
And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs.
Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll
show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out
a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her
legs in full.
Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken
off their coats.
Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you
where I was operated on for appendicitis."
All three fork over the money. The girl then turned to the window
and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the
distance? That's the hospital where I had it done!"
- - - - -
It was afternoon in the crowded cafeteria. The elderly matron
sitting at the counter was obviously upset at the cigarette smoke of
the young blond woman beside her.
Finally the older woman could take it no longer. She turned to the
blond and bellowed with a loud voice, "Young lady, I would rather
commit adultery than smoke!"
"So would I," quipped the blond, "but you know, there just isn't
enough time to get a good screw during a coffee break."
- - - - -
Sylvia was in her backyard hanging up her washing when
Sarah, her next door neighbor, poked her head over the
fence and said, "I don't like being the one to have to tell
you this Sylvia, but there's a rumor going around that your
husband Robert is chasing the women."
"So what?" said Sylvia.
"But at his age!" said Sarah, "He's over 80 isn't he?"
"Ya, so he's eighty-two, so what?" replied Sylvia. "Let him chase
girls. Dogs chase cars, but when they catch one, can they drive it?"
- - - - -
A guy came home to his wife and said to her:
"Guess what? I've found a great job at a book store. A
10 p.m. start, 2 a.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and
it pays $600 a week!"
"That's great," his wife said.
"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start on Monday
at the Gloryhole section."
* I Fought For You By The Sound Tank
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTb6qdPu8JE
* Tragedy by Design by William Norman Grigg
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4553290805946991285
* So what are you going to do about Washington DC?
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8936247493307085915
* FOR LINKS TO THE NEW PROMISFITS BLOGS - GO TO ...
http://stumpysteve.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=691
* To email StumpySteve, use ohmy@misfitscafe.biz
***\\\ Thanks For Reading StumpySteve's Snippets ///***
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