You may be working in a Redneck Hospital if.....
1. There's an old ambulance out front up on concrete
blocks next to the pink flamingos both partially hidden
in the tall grass.
2. The hospital makes its own alcohol from a still out
back, operated by prisoners on work release.
3. The ambulances have gun racks, NASCAR bumper stickers,
beer can holders and a siren that plays " Dixie ".
4. You hear the intercom say " Paging Dr. Bubba to the
OR", and 5 Doctors show up----and they're all related.
5. Spit cups and coolers are considered standard bedside
equipment.
6. Patients. are given a choice of Coors or Budweiser with the
grilled SPAM.
7. There's a case of super glue and a roll of duct tape on the
shelf next to the dressing supplies in the ER.
8. More than 3 patients say "I don't know how that fishin'
lure/beer can got stuck there" on any given day in the ER.
9. They use '47 Chevy hubcaps for bedpans.
10. The defibrillator is a stolen Fire truck battery with jumper
cables.
11. The Rescue unit is bringing in a 600lb woman to the ER
and it appears a funeral procession behind it...actually it is
police and additional rescue members to unload the stretcher.
12. There's a license plate collection nailed to the walls
of the Doctors lounge next to a movie poster of
"Deliverance" and a shrine to Elvis.
13. At least 1 med cart in the hallway is up on a concrete
block with a wheel missing.
14. There's at least 3 different brands of chewing tobacco
in the Pyxis.
15. There's paint by numbers pictures of Elvis in the
waiting room, in every patient room, and in the cafeteria.
16. A nurse has ever had to write an incident report for
getting her hairdo burnt in a surgical lite fixture.
17. All hourly employees qualify for food stamps, medicaid
and welfare assistance and work 72 hrs a week.
18. The hospital gift shoppe sells beer, fishing lures and bait.
19. The billing office takes beer, chickens, eggs and hams
as payment for services rendered.
20. The hospital administrator is also the announcer for
the Saturday night dirt track races occasionally.
21. The hospital logo, "We ain't lost a patient yet!" is for
real, the hospital was previously used as county jail with
bars on each cell and on the windows.
22. No Smoking on hospital grounds strictly enforced, (hospitals
cannot make money if you die of natural causes outside.)
23. After using needles Lab workers lick them clean, sanitizing
them for the next patient.
24. Hospital Food Service has consistantly failed DHEC inspections.
25. Hospital is sued annually by the government for illegal medicare,
medicaid and tri-care billing.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.