I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
'Til you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.
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* Happy Holidays to ALL from StumpySteve & Family ...
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Thank You & Looking Forward,
StumpySteve Wilson, MD
ohmy@misfitscafe.biz
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