Pot-Luck-Humor - Helpline

 

 If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers What if General Motors had to maintain a "help line" for people who didn't know how to operate their new cars? **************************************************************** HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!" HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?" CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?" HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine." CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?" **************************************************************** HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!" HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?" CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?" HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?" CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?" HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you." CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $20,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!" **************************************************************** HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Your car sucks!" HELPLINE: "What's wrong?" CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!" HELPLINE: "What were you doing?" CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed — and now it won't start!" HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?" CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash anymore!" **************************************************************** HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks." HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?" CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?" HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?" CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?" HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?" CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!" Ginny Marie

--
    Red Skelton
 All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

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Prescription For Disaster - Gary Null - A Must See Video!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2502546838698762400

You are personally responsible for everything that happens
inyour life... that is, once you become aware of the fact,
you are personally responsible for everything that happens
in your life. ~ Dr4million

==> Dying to Have Known - The Gerson Therapy
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7357629140536485998

"Independence is my happiness, ... my country is the
world, and my religion is to do good." ~ Thomas Paine

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