| Paraprosdokian sentences - Enjoy! A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. Ø I asked God for a bike, But I know God doesn't work that way. So, I stole a bike And Asked for forgiveness. Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, Like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than Standing in a garage makes you a car. Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Ø If I agreed with you, We'd both be wrong. Ø We never really grow up; We only learn how to act in public. Ø War does not determine who is right -- Only who is left. Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Ø The early bird might get the worm, But the second mouse gets the cheese. Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' And Then proceed to tell you why it isn't. Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station. Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, But it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Ø Some people are like Slinkies .... Not really good for anything, But you can't help smiling when you push one down the stairs. Ø Dolphins are so smart, That within a few weeks of captivity they can train people To stand on the edge of the pool and throw them fish. Ø I thought I wanted a career; Turns out I just wanted a paycheck. Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money If you can prove that you don't need it. Ø Whenever I fill out an application, In the part that says. "In case of an emergency, notify - - -", I put "DOCTOR." Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Ø I saw a chesty woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it... So, I said "Implants?" Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, But check when you say the paint is wet? Ø Women will never be equal to men Until they can walk down the street with a bald head And A beer gut and still think they are sexy. Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people To run for President And Fifty for Miss America? Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. Ø A clear conscience is usually The sign of a bad memory. Ø You do not need a parachute to sky dive. You only need a parachute to sky dive,,,, twice. Ø The voices in my head may not be real, But they have some good ideas! Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell You to go to hell in such a way that You will look forward to the trip. Ø Hospitality: Making your guests feel like they're at home, Even if you wish they were. Ø Money can't buy happiness, But it sure makes misery easier to live with. Ø I discovered I scream the same way Whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark Or If a piece of seaweed touches my foot. Ø Some cause happiness Wherever they go. Others, Whenever they go. Ø There's a fine line between cuddling And Holding someone down so they can't get away. Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. Ø I always take life with a grain of salt... Plus a slice of lemon... And A shot of tequila. Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, Remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid. Ø To be sure of hitting the target, Shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when You are after it as opposed to when you are in it. Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, Why do some people have more than one child? Ø Change is inevitable, Except from a vending machine. Ø When something works just fine,, DON'T fix it !!! Ø Insanity is contagious, You get it from your children. Ø Hire a teenager,, While they still know everything. | ||
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The Science & Politics of Cancer by G. Edward Griffin
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3957307988644640556
Mike Adams - Monopoly Medicine (Edward Griffin Interview)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=150012977198627882
Mike Adams Speaks About Disease & Nutrition
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1348612478126419529
The True Cost of Food - Organic food versus chemicals & GMOs
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7929268648728632575
* Controlling Our Food
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6262083407501596844
* Food From The Matrix
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4170168714960373154
Make Yourself Heart Attack Proof - Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5215695644951404318
Chocolate, Cheese, Meat & Sugar - Physically Addictive Foods
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3214100593069532942
Foods That Kill & Foods That Heal by Dr. Michael Klaper
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1549763175867837730
Professor T. Colin Campbell PhD --
Animal protein (meat and dairy) causes cancer
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1308977765978236346
==> Earthlings (please watch this - tnx)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6361872964130308142
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The Science & Politics of Cancer by G. Edward Griffin
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3957307988644640556
Mike Adams - Monopoly Medicine (Edward Griffin Interview)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=150012977198627882
Mike Adams Speaks About Disease & Nutrition
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1348612478126419529
The True Cost of Food - Organic food versus chemicals & GMOs
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7929268648728632575
* Controlling Our Food
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6262083407501596844
* Food From The Matrix
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4170168714960373154
Make Yourself Heart Attack Proof - Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5215695644951404318
Chocolate, Cheese, Meat & Sugar - Physically Addictive Foods
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3214100593069532942
Foods That Kill & Foods That Heal by Dr. Michael Klaper
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1549763175867837730
Professor T. Colin Campbell PhD --
Animal protein (meat and dairy) causes cancer
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1308977765978236346
==> Earthlings (please watch this - tnx)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6361872964130308142
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MARKETPLACE
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