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BEST SICK NOTE - FOR A WHILE ANYWAY:
Dear Boss,
I thought I should inform you immediately that I will be unable to attend work today due to my being bitten by a spider whilst sleeping last night. As I'm sure you will no doubt appreciate, the weather has been extremely warm, leading to my sleeping unclothed and without any bed sheets. It is this position of sleeping which left me vulnerable to the spider attack.
As proof of my dire circumstances, I attach a picture of my discomforting situation. I trust that this will suffice until I produce the usual statutory certification.
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