Pot-Luck-Humor - Air Lines...this could actually happen

 

Air Lines...this could actually happen     Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, Sir. May I see your ticket? Passenger: Sure. Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, Please! Passenger: What for? Attendant: For telling you where to 'Sit'. Passenger: But I already knew where to sit. Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the Airline's new Policy. Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it. Attendant: Sir, Do you want a seat on this flight, or not ? Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this. Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, Your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you? Passenger: That would be Swell, Thanks. Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, Please. Passenger: What ? Attendant: The Airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee. Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it. Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, And fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10. Passenger: ' No Way ! ' Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the Air Marshal. And you really don't want me to do that. Passenger: Why Not? Is he going to 'Shoot me'? Attendant: No, But there's a $50 Air-Marshal hailing fee. Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this. Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you? Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it? Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, Sir. Just insert two quarters into the Overhead coin slot for the First Five minutes. Passenger: The Airline is charging me for Cabin air? Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents. Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar? Attendant: Certainly, Sir! Here you go! Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar. Attendant: Yes, there's a 'change making fee' of 25 cents. Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter ? What the heck can I do with this ? Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the wash room.

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