religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2..
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some
people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I
used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're
just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty
is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the
universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are
just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil,
the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The
gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness:
That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being
'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I
Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18
Procrastinate Now!
19.. I
Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A
hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They
call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who
dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A
picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26..
Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The
trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The
original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I
smile because I don't know what in the world is going on.
I'm... politically incorrect, morally absent, ethically a pariah, socially an animal, emotionally damaged, sexually absent, ideologically contemptuous, theologically damned, intellectually complicated ...and kind
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