Re: MisfitsCafe.com - In Case you Missed the Late Stuff.....

 

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On Mon, Nov 22, 2010 at 9:04 AM, Ernest Hayes <retiredsergeant@gmail.com> wrote:

This will be a rough week for President Obama. He's got a lame duck Congress, he has to pardon a turkey, he has to eat crow, and the Chinese just flipped him the bird. It's been a fowl week.   ----- Original Message ----- From: MOFAKDCATH In Case You Missed It Dept.:   The TSA was ordered Monday to grope women at airport security gates if they refused the nude body scan. It's now legal for federal workers to grope you if they can't see you naked. It sounds like an idea right out of Bill Clinton's I Have a Dream speech.    President Obama admitted he hit no home runs at the Group of Twenty summit Friday. He had a diminished role. If the world stage were the Nativity Scene, President Obama would be a cow sitting sidestage reminding the other cows that he was Jesus last year.   President Obama refused to reduce Health Care Reform benefits Monday. The U.S. government is giving out free mammograms, free testicular and cervical screenings and free prostate exams. All you have to do is walk through the airport like you're going somewhere.    House Republicans vowed Monday to probe Fannie Mae for the real estate crash two years ago. People owe more on their houses than they're worth. So many people in Los Angeles are digging themselves into a hole that it's cut subway construction costs by fifty percent.   President Obama returned from his ten-day trip to Asia on Sunday. It didn't go so well. Obama traveled to India, Indonesia, North Korea and Japan and he wasn't able to reach a currency agreement, obtain a free trade deal, or find his birth certificate.   President Obama stood in silence before the great Buddha statue in Tokyo Sunday. He celebrated Hinduism in India, Islam in Indonesia, and Buddhism in Japan. So now Barack Obama is just a high school football game in Texas away from hitting for the cycle.   The House Ethics Committee convicted Harlem U.S. Congressman Charlie Rangel on Tuesday. They got him for lavish lifestyle and tropical vacations. His peers didn't buy his defense that he represents the good people of Harlem and they deserve the best life has to offer.   The Congressional Hispanic Caucus met with President Obama Wednesday to secure his backing of an amnesty bill. Hispanics say they're disappointed by Obama's lack of enthusiasm. That's a cruel stereotype of Vulcan-Americans and they owe him an apology.    The House Ethics committee censured U.S. Congressman Charlie Rangel of Harlem Thursday for abuse of office and financial misconduct. The man was a Korean War hero. To cover up an old war wound to his hand, Charlie goes everywhere with it in a cookie jar.        -- Argus Hamilton   President Obama said on "60 Minutes" that he wants to bring back the 8 million jobs we've lost. Today India said "no."   Obama's overseas trip has been such a disaster that people in Kenya now claim that he has an American birth certificate.   This will be a rough week for President Obama. He's got a lame duck Congress, he has to pardon a turkey, he has to eat crow, and the Chinese just flipped him the bird. It's been a fowl week.   The lame duck Congress started today. Not to be confused with before the election — that was a lame excuse for a Congress.   President Obama wrote a children's book. If only one person reads it, it will be double the number of people that read the healthcare bill.   It was bad enough when the TSA agents would go through your underwear in your luggage. Now they're going through your underwear while you're wearing it.   Now, to make it worse, the airlines are charging a $15 molestation fee.   The House Ethics Committee has found Rep. Charles Rangel guilty of financial misconduct. It wasn't easy. They had to go way outside Washington to find anyone that knew anything about ethics.   Nancy Pelosi has now been elected the new House minority leader. She was smiling from ear to ear, which is pretty impressive considering how far her ears have been pulled back.   Sunday night was the debut of the reality show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska." It got huge ratings. Even people over in Russia were watching and they didn't need TVs. They could see it from their porch.   If Rep. Charles Rangel is found guilty by the ethics committee, they said they could expel him, but experts say that is not likely. See, that would set a bad precedent in Washington, punishing the guilty.         -- Leno   President Obama's picture book for kids is coming out. That's when you know things have changed — when Bush writes a 500-page memoir and Obama hands in a coloring book.   President Obama is doing an interview with Barbara Walters that will air the day after Thanksgiving. Walters will ask Obama how he plans to stop the fighting in the Middle East, while he'll ask her how she plans to stop the fighting on "The View."       -- Jimmy Fallon   TSA agents can now feel the inside of passengers' thighs. I get more action going through airline security than I did all through high school.         -- Jimmy Kimmel   Sarah Palin has a new show. She takes viewers all around Alaska, and shows them where she water-boarded Levi Johnston.   Sarah Palin's new show is a huge hit and producers are saying that no endangered species were harmed — except for the Democrats.   President Obama has a children's book. It's called, "How the Grinch Stole the Midterm Elections."     -- Letterman   Rep. John Boehner is the new speaker of the house. Turn-ons include tax cuts and spray tans.   All of the royalties from Obama's book sales will go to an organization that really needs the money: the Obama re-election company.   -- Craig Ferguson         Mofak Back to Back We Face the Future! www.mofak.com www.mofack.com www.mofakcanvasart.com

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