Friday, October 29, 2010

Pot-Luck-Humor - Fwd: The True Meaning behind the statement

 

Statement:  "I'm a Romantic."

True Meaning:  "I'm poor."

Statement:  "I need you."
True Meaning:  "My hand is tired."





Statement:  "I am different from all the other guys."
True Meaning:  "I am not circumcised.


Statement:  "I want a commitment."
True Meaning:  "I'm sick of masturbation.


Statement:  "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning:  "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."


Statement:  "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning:  "So I can tell my friends about it."


Statement:  "It's just orange juice, try it."
True Meaning:  "Three more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head."


Statement:  "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning:  "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a bag over the head might be necessary."


Statement:  "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning:  "She won't sleep with me."


Statement:  "I miss you so much."
True Meaning:  "I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good."


Statement:  "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning:  "I am so insecure..."


Statement:  "How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?"
True Meaning:  "Is my penis really that small?"


Statement:  "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning:  "Who the hell are you?"


Statement:  "Do you love me?"
True Meaning:  "I've done something stupid and you might find out."


Statement:  "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning:  "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."


Statement:  "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning:  "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."


Statement:  "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning:  "Get tested."


Statement:  "I'll give you a call."
True Meaning:  "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."


Statement:  "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning:  "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."


Statement:  "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning:  "You're ugly."


Statement:  "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning:  "Next!!!!"


Statement:  "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"
True Meaning:  "I gotta remember to turn on my answering machine."



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I'm... politically incorrect, morally absent, ethically a pariah, socially an animal, emotionally damaged, sexually absent, ideologically contemptuous, theologically damned, intellectually complicated ...and kind


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