JOKES
Four New Fathers
Four expectant fathers are in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while
their wives were in labor.
The nurse comes in and tells the first man, "Congratulations, you're
the father of twins."
"What a coincidence," the man exclaims. "I work for the Minnesota Twins
baseball team."
The nurse returns a short while later and tells the second man, "You
are the father of triplets."
"Wow, what a coincidence," he replies. "I work for the 3M Corporation."
When the nurse comes again, she tells the third man that his wife has
given birth to quadruplets.
"Another coincidence. I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."
At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask
what's wrong.
"What's wrong? I work for Seven-Up."
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Top Ten Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Dog
1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no
one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get
older.
3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every
day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair.
4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.
5. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might
actually think you're cute.
6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can
entertain you for hours.
7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.
8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have
to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone
else's fault.
9. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see
the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five
minutes and come back.
10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.
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Pyuns Puns
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger.'
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says
'Dam!'
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ´I've lost my electron.' The other
says ´Are you sure?' The first replies, ´Yes, I'm positive.'
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that
at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
http://MisfitsCafe.com/Diane
http://dianesworld1.blogspot.com/
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
(7 hour YouTube playlist of clinical nutrition videos)
http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/MisfitsCafe/message/167
The Latest in Human Nutrition 2010 - Michael Greger MD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYLRKa9p0Rs
==> The Healthcare Crisis:
How to Get Off Meds with Your Doctor's Help
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWJsGYIEG_4
* Transitioning Your Diet To Alkaline Foods
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nOqnQ5fyAw
(\__/)
(='.'=) Dear Dorothy, Hate Oz. Took the shoes.
(")_(") Find your own way home!!! xoxo Toto
http://StumpySteve.com/forums
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