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Are They Twins?   A very loud, ugly, hard-faced broad walks into a fine restaurant with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to to our establishment.  Charming children you've got there. Are they twins?" The hideous bitch stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they fucking aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look alike, shithead?" "Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would fuck you twice!" ddddd   A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad. Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play." Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with." Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?" Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed." The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door. Mom : "Now what do I do?" Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some fucking ice cream."   ddddd   A guy shouted to his girlfriend, "Come here and look at my clock!" She walks in and finds him naked with a hard-on, and says, "That's not a clock." "It will be when you put two hands and a face on it!"

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  "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." Kurt Cobain

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